I should be sponsored by Trojan
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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