God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.