I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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