You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
