I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
