The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
