He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to showerâ€#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
