You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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