so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
