census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
