I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
