we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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