I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
