I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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