This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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