I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
