Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
