Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
