I wanna bring you to show and tell
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
