your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
