the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
