I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
