I wish I only lived at night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
