I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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