From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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