It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
