Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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