"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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