it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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