I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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