i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
