Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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