There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
