I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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