how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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