You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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