kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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