Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
