No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
