I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
