that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
