he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
