Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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