ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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