you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize