There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
