where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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