my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
