just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
