Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
