I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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