Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are