It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.