Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum. http://tfl.nu/041y

Replies (11) Good night (473) Bad night (2631) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there. http://tfl.nu/xvnw

Replies (20) Good night (512) Bad night (6484) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me. http://tfl.nu/lhdj

Replies (53) Good night (910) Bad night (4366) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me? http://tfl.nu/6foj

Replies (4) Good night (4340) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg http://tfl.nu/c3oo

Replies (17) Good night (5678) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze http://tfl.nu/3a8k

Replies (6) Good night (2659) Bad night (1070)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm

Replies (5) Good night (1313) Bad night (3548) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01

Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju

Replies (6) Good night (2957) Bad night (742)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear http://tfl.nu/8b8t

Replies (5) Good night (1220) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog http://tfl.nu/dk0r

Replies (23) Good night (4810) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

(801): View more from Utah

Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2

Replies (5) Good night (2044) Bad night (520)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut. http://tfl.nu/e6c8

Replies (2) Good night (1360) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter. http://tfl.nu/mtk4

Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm

Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: