Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
