Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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