His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
