I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
