shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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