his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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